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Strictly Germ-Proof

The Antiseptic Baby and the Prophylactic Pup
were playing in the garden when the Bunny gamboled up;
They looked upon the creature with a loathing undisguised; -
It wasn't Disinfected and it wasn't Sterilized.

They said it was a Microbe and a Hotbed of Disease;
They steamed it in a vapor of a thousand-odd degrees;
They froze it in a freezer that was cold as Banished Hope
And washed it in permanganate with carbolated soap.

In sulfuretted hydrogen they steeped its wiggly ears;
They trimmed its frisky whiskers with a pair of hard-boiled shears;
They donned their rubber mittens and they took it by the hand
And 'elected it a member of the Fumigated Band.

There's not a Micrococcus in the garden where they play;
They bath in pure iodoform a dozen times a day;
And each imbibes his rations from a Hygienic Cup-
The Bunny and the Baby and the Prophylactic Pup.

Arthur Gutterman